this love

I used to blame my mishaps on my past.
Pointing fingers to any other person in the room except myself.
I now realized I have 10 sets of fingers arrowing towards my head.
But I have yet to learn that 10 is 1.

I like to make people laugh. I like to make jokes. I like to make sarcastic comments. I put my friends first. Family ahead of them. I am shy. But, I'll be not when time has passed.

I don't like you. But I don't say it. I fucking hate you. But I tend not to show. If you were a girl, I'd have fuck you.

Money can't buy you happiness. But having money can really make you smile. Smiling is not an action that produces sound. That is why I like to smile. Because I don't like to talk. And maybe because I think my smile is my only asset I have left. If I were to have any in the first place. Other than my butt though, which anyway, many claimed that if it belongs to a girl, they'd touch it.

I really want to know what do people think about me. Because to be honest, I care of what people say about me. They affect me in every way. This leads to me being paranoid. And being paranoid is not cool.

I don't like occasions, big ones, where you will have to meet new people. I don't give people good first impressions. They count. And mine would be a negative 16. I need at least 4 chances to make them like me. If not, I'm striked out. Sigh.

Let me ask you one question,